Behaviour

There is no perfect parent and no child who behaves perfectly all of the time. Children’s behaviour can improve, however, if you try some of these top tips for getting the behaviour you want:

1. Spend time with your children doing things you all enjoy.
2. Laugh together.
3. Try to say “yes” more than “no”.
4. Set aside time to listen to your children.
5. Praise them a lot, try to find a balance of praising them five times for every time you tell them off.
6. Make a much bigger fuss of good behaviour than of misbehaviour.
7. Show lots of physical affection, you’ll all enjoy tickling, hugging, cuddling, massage and many more ways to show you love each other through touch.
8. Show you care from a distance, at the park and in the playground you can show them they are still in your thoughts by waving, smiling, giving a thumbs up or making eye contact.
9. When children say “Look at me” whenever possible, stop what you are doing and watch them.
10. Set clear ground rules so children know how they are supposed to behave.
11. Be consistent. Try to do as you say most of the time, when you follow through on a reward or a consequence then children know where they stand.
12. Speak clearly to children. When you want them to do something get their attention by coming up close to them, using their first name and use short, clear sentences.
13. If you want your child to do something tell them politely to do it, don’t ask them if they will do it, for example say “ Please sit at the table for tea.” rather than “Would you like to come to the table now?” When instructions are given as questions children are more likely to refuse.
14. Be a great role model, children will react much better if you abide by the house rules yourself.
15. Give small consequences, when children misbehave give them the consequences straight away and for a short time, for example turning the TV off for 1 minute after they have squabbled over which show to watch.
16. Look after yourself, recharge your batteries by having a little time to yourself or a chance to have fun with other adults. You’ll find your patience with the children is improved and stress levels lowered.

These ideas are suitable for children of Primary School age and under and are drawn from several sources including the Triple P Positive Parenting Program.

These ideas are reproduced with the permission of Claire Halsey.